‘Regards is such a cold word’: What your email sign-off says about you

When letters were the only form of written correspondence, signing off was obvious. But the rules are far less obvious with email

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Are you thoughtful? Grateful? Or just very, very busy. The answer might be in your email sign-off.
This week the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that people who use abbreviations in their digital communications came across as less sincere and were less likely to receive responses. Which is bad news for everyone who likes to end their emails ‘BW’.
When letters were our only form of written communication the rules about when to use a “Yours Sincerely” (if you knew the person’s name) or a “Yours Faithfully” (if you didn’t) were clear. But although the average Brit now sends 144 emails a day, there are no formal guidelines about what’s appropriate. As such, our own personal preferred choice of ending may subconsciously reveal a lot about us.
“We can tell a lot about personality and leadership style from how people choose to communicate and emails are no exception,” says Dr Rachael Molitor, a psychologist specialising in human behaviour. “Because of the recency effect, the way you choose to end your email might count for more than the way you chose to greet someone, or even the contents of that email.”
Memorable sign-offs have always been about more than just ending a message. When Winston Churchill declared war on Japan in 1941, he signed his letter to the Japanese Ambassador, “Your obedient servant, Winston S Churchill.” When asked about it later, he pointed out, “It costs nothing to be polite”.
So whether you’re a “With regards,” type or an irrepressible “Cheers!”-er – here’s what your email sign-off says about you.
“The type of person who favours this sign-off tends to be agreeable and approachable,” says Dr Molitor. “They strive for a good balance between personal and professional and like to develop a positive rapport with colleagues.”
But William Hanson, etiquette coach and author of Just Good Manners, says you still need to tread carefully. “Being warm and fuzzy is all very well if that is your relationship ‘in real life’ with that person,” he says. “If you would greet this person with a social kiss or a hug then this style of sign-off would be appropriate. If you would not, however, stick to something more formal.”
Hanson also hates regards, however warm they might be. “Regards is such a cold word. Sticking an adjective like ‘kind’ or ‘warm’; on the front doesn’t help improve it. This is an email sign-off that should be consigned to the bin.”
“This sign-off shows someone who is considerate and empathetic,” says Dr Molitor. “They probably like to feel valued and appreciated themselves so they want to extend that. It’s also quite a clever move as when people feel appreciated, they’re more likely to do what you’ve asked of them.”
Hanson is also a fan of this popular sign-off. “These are good catch-all phrases that keep it polite and maintain some form of barrier,” he says. “They are often seen at the bottom of professional emails. Although non-Brits should beware that ‘many thanks’ can sometimes be added to the bottom of emails in a passive aggressive manner, where no thanks is intended whatsoever.” A bit like the modern version of Churchill’s “obedient servant” then.
Helen Morris Brown is a business psychologist and coach who says 90 per cent of her clients struggle to hit the right tone in their emails. “The gratitude sign-off is particularly favoured by American clients,” she says. “I recently received an email ending ‘With gratitude and appreciation’ and I replied mirroring that, as that’s the best thing you can do when you’re not sure how to sign off to someone on email.”
“This type of person tends to be quite factual, very thoughtful, maybe has a corporate role,” says Dr Molitor. “We see it a lot more with the older generation. They’re probably very formal in other areas of their life too, they prefer order and maintaining boundaries.”
If in doubt, the formal approach might be the way to go. “Yours sincerely remains a solid way to end an email or letter when you do not know the person at all, but you know their name and have styled the salutation ‘Dear Mr/Ms Lastname’,” says Hanson. “This sign-off is often overlooked by many writing their first email to someone new and should be brought back.”
“These kinds of abbreviations can denote someone very busy and rushed, or someone in a leadership role who respects hierarchy and likes to demonstrate it,” says Dr Molitor. “The way it’s received can go two ways – some people might be offended that the sender hasn’t taken the time to write the full words, others might feel grateful that this busy and important sender took the time to email at all.”
“This ending to an email can feel very abrupt,” says Morris Brown. “It might well be interpreted as a personal slight and I don’t think many people like it.”
Hanson is also not impressed. “Why even bother? Clearly the person thinks they’re Jeff Bezos – famed for sending one character emails to Amazon employees – but it shows a total lack of respect for the recipient,” he says. “The sender is a bit of a pillock, frankly. If that person’s life is so busy they do not have time to properly press a few extra keys, they need to reevaluate their approach to life.”
Bezos says the reason he himself uses one character emails is to communicate in shorthand with his staff when he wants a complaint looked into. But surely few can claim to be as busy as the billionaire e-commerce titan.
“I think in the right context, for example with friends and family and across colleagues of the same level as you, then this kind of sign-off is friendly and fun,” says Dr Molitor. “It can project confidence and an easy-going attitude.”
“These are fine, but again, only once a level of familiarity has been struck between the parties emailing,” says Hanson. “I do not need someone I have never met instructing me to have a good weekend or to ‘keep smiling’.”
Heaven knows what Hanson would make of the Gen Z social media agency NightyEight, which went viral on TikTok after they shared the email sign-offs currently in rotation among their 20-something employees. One signed off their missives with “that’s all”, another simply wrote “hehe, bye”, while a third – presumably in homage to Matthew Mcconaughey – went for: “alright alright alright”. One NightyEight employee chose to end his emails with the memorable words: “F**k you, I’m out.”
Similarly, the CEO of Fox & Robin, an activewear company which claims to “hire only Gen Z”, shared emails from his employees which included the sign-offs “Hasta la pasta”, “don’t cross me”, and “talk soon, loser”.
“I’d only opt for an informal sign-off if I knew the person very well and was 100 per cent sure how the joke would land,” says Morris Brown.
And what about the “X” factor? Should you ever sign emails off with a kiss? “Context is everything when it comes to being informal like this,” says Morris Brown. “If you’d kiss the person in real life, you might potentially sign off with an ‘X’, particularly if emails have been flowing so it feels more like text messages going back and forth. But a long string of X-s would be very unprofessional. If they’ve sent one to you, and you want to reciprocate, you can.”
“The same goes for using emojis in emails. Ultimately, if you’re unsure about a sign-off, just don’t take the risk – especially at work.”
Yours sincerely it is then.
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